SBF Gets Two Weeks to Pitch a New Trial—Judge Sets Gov Deadline, Trump Still Holds the Pardon Card

Judge Lewis Kaplan (SDNY) has told the U.S. government to stop scrolling through crypto memes and get back to him by March 11 with a response to SBF’s motion for a do-over trial. The ex-FTX CEO, who’s currently serving 25 years—longer than most NFT collections last—argued that new witness testimony might, just maybe, prove he didn’t turn customer funds into a personal crypto casino. Spoiler: the prosecution’s rebuttal will probably involve a spreadsheet labeled “Where Did the Money Go? (Spoiler: Bahamas and Tesla merch).”

Bankman-Fried’s legal team already filed an appeal, but the Second Circuit Court is still sipping its coffee, waiting for the right moment to drop a ruling. Meanwhile, the entire crypto world keeps refreshing the docket like it’s a Bored Ape mint. SBF stepped down as FTX CEO in November 2022 after the exchange imploded faster than a leveraged Long-ETH position during a Fed meeting—and the ensuing charges read like a crypto noir novel written by a disgruntled accountant.

Caroline Ellison, the former Alameda boss who flipped on SBF like a Binance user during a 20% dip, got released in January after 440 days behind bars. That’s roughly the same time it took for the FTX token to go from “blue chip” to “used as digital confetti.” Ryan Salame, her ex-co-CEO, is still doing his seven-year stretch—probably training for a future career as a crypto compliance influencer.

Since landing in federal custody, SBF has become the most active inmate on X, posting memes of Trump like he’s trying to get invited to Mar-a-Lago’s next brunch. He even did a sit-down with Tucker Carlson in March 2025, which reportedly triggered his transfer to a facility with better Wi-Fi and fewer contraband phones. The White House, however, has responded to pardon rumors with the enthusiasm of a crypto lawyer hearing “it’s not a security.” The NY Times and Fortune both confirmed: no pardon. Yet Trump has already freed CZ and Ross Ulbricht, which means SBF’s best hope might be convincing Elon to tweet “PARDON SBF” in all caps while wearing a NASA hoodie.